Death by etc.

WindStrike · (This post was last modified: 06-13-2013, 02:59 AM by WindStrike.)

This thread contains a list of every creative line DM has used to kill something.

Keese is sent to the sun, where its life will enlighten all others.
God was summoned. Gel2 was incinerated upon sight.
Stalchild throws his dice away as he prays to God. God picks up his bones and gives them to his dog.
BabyDodongo dies, and Aslan does not give a ****. BabyDodongo's nationalism was unable to save him.
Bee1 is burned to a crisp. The buzzer rings, and Bee1 is wrong.
Bee2 is now an enlightened one, joining Keese in the sun.
The electrified fence is offended and stares blankly at you.
Rope1 is reduced to a miserable pile of ropes.
Rope2 is sliced and diced by Shane's Doran's Blade. It was not fit for the Fields of Justice.
Like-Like explodes as Wind teleports in and destroys it with a Death-omb.
Like-Like makes a horrible blubbering noise. If one was good with languages, he might make out the words, "I'm meltiiiing!"
Moldorm and Ramsey both fall down a hole, where they meet Zoidberg in the depths of Shady's mind. Why not?
RedWizzrobe is met in the face with the Blade of Air and is now headless and falls through the floor to see Zoidberg.
RedWizzrobe is blown away. In his final moments, he flashbacks to the time he was alive. DM was playing with his stats. RedWizzrobe's life was horrible. RedWizzrobe goes to enjoy Zoidberg's company, only to meet Ramsey's ghost instead. Tears were shed.
Ramsey is touched by grace briefly. God took it away.
RedPatra loses a Blue Patra. Another one bites the dust!
One of the full health Blue Patras falls to Charizard's League of Legends skills.
Sephiroth ninja-pokes the 1h BluePatra.
The last Blue Patra is in captivity. The galaxy is at peace.
RedPatra is mangled into a keyblade, opens the treasure chest, and disintegrates under the sheer force of the blast.
FireKeese is incinerated by the devastating light blast as its health drops into the negatives, where Smeagol rises to finish him. Smeagol then jumps back into the nearby lava river- OH WAIT. Smeagol burns... again.
ChuChu joins the derailed train along with Thomas's creepy face.
Lynel roars. Aslan roars. Lynel explodes.
Lynel gets burnt to a crisp as he joins Smeagol in the lava river.
ChuChu gets blasted into a gooey pulp and covers StrangeDoc in a nasty goo.
PossessedRogue is flung into the mountain, all of his bones breaking.
Firerobe attempts to Warp Shield his way to a victory, but he fails to achieve Warp Speed.
Firerobe2 becomes one with the volcano.
Lynel has become roasted. Venison anyone?
RogueOne hulk smashes Darte's skull into the ground.
RogueOne throws his dice away. God picks up his remains and seasons his dinner with it.
RogueTwo enjoys a flashback of unmemorable memories.
RogueTwo observes as his White Sword feasts on Ramsey's body.
RogueLeader is wiped off the face of the earth by a measly secondary attack. How sad.

WindStrike · (This post was last modified: 08-02-2013, 11:27 PM by WindStrike.)

This post contains all death lines used in the Attack on Death Mountain quest:

Tatl goes to heaven. God does not approve. Ganon throws Kefka's ambulance at Tatl.
SkullKid1 sees the light and walks into it. It meets Keese and enjoys the sacrifice of enlightenment.
SkullKid2 is thoroughly chopped into two. BlueShell devours the remains.
RockGolem has melted and flies up against a tree, ... which also goes up in flames. ... Good job.
Kefka divides DM by zero.
IceMage is sliced to shreds as Gurloz's blade enjoys a nice chainsaw bath with IceMage's blood.
SkullKid is wiped out in a single blast of light. DM puts away his trusty flashlight.
VoodooKid is struck down by Shane! HE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING!
[Santa Claus]: Ho ho ho, my cat knows what you did in the dark, and you've been a naughty boy. It's time for you to join a bonfire and become the next naughty boy's sack of coal, you SkullKidish ****. Merry Christmas!
- badsanta.gif
VoodooKid is sliced by the first blade and fears himself out of existence before the second blade hits.
Wolfos2 couldn't put out the fire, and thus returns to the earth as a pile of ash!
Wolfos tears into Darte's guts and eviscerates his spine, regurgitates his eyes, and feasts off his tongue as I give you a hamburger. Darte was then strangled by his own tranchea.
Wolfos experiences one last flashback to find Zoidberg stealing his parents away and selling them off to slavery. ... what.
BlueWizzrobe is struck down by Ramsey's lightsaber- I mean White Sword. BlueWizzrobe's attempt to become one with the force is rejected by Obi-Wan accompanied by a finger.
CrystalWolfos bulldozes through Ramsey's frostbitten body. Ramsey curses Zoidberg with his final breath. Zoidberg smokes a blunt and pets his MechaHitler.
Gurloz grins, as the crystals shatter from his wind. CrystalWolfos was blown away. Groovy, dude.
CrystalMinion2 is shattered into Oblivion, where he'll influence the next Elder Scrolls game as an abused wolf.
CrystalMinion1 cracks open like an egg that didn't learn how to turtle, because cakes are ruling the world.
- "<Darte> Like bed through butler!"
- ...
CrystalWolfos breaks away under the stress of constantly respawning. Why can't it be over with in one swoop like Jesus?
Gurloz gets blasted off to be with Keese and enlighten everyone's life on the sun.
With a fury of slashes, Darte slices and dices GiantWolfos until it becomes perfect for grilling.
Bat1 is burned to crisp, like a krispy kreme dou- you know what, nevermind, I'm on the sun, and I'm best friends with the Keese.
Ramsey curses Zoidberg with his last breath. Zoidberg is being blamed for everything. He's sad. And now he's going to take your soul.
Bat2 regrets life after Gurloz flashed him. I thought this game was rated PG-13 guys.
Bat2 lands on a kid, who then uses the bat as a ornament for his speakers. And thus, Batman was born.
Gurloz covers Geodude with a piece of paper. Geodude is now a present for Charlie Brown. Say hello to your next Halloween Special.
Aquamentus has been slain by a non Fus-Ro-Da-i-an. ... unless that's what happens when you take the hood off a Subrosian.
Creeper explodes, spraying its green blood over Shane.
Tonberry guts Shane, and goes off on his merry way.
With his last breath, Ramsey curses...Fran.
- DM approves.
DM kicks Tonberry out of heaven. Tonberry lands in front of Gurloz's newly acquired lantern while taking 1000 fall damage (neutral). BlueShell eats what's left of the Tonberry.
With the final slash of victory, Shane decapitates the last of the Gleeok's heads. He returns to Australia with all three heads piked on his sword. The Sydney Opera House forever welcomed him... and feared him. [/epic movie voice]
Aquamentus would be broken by Shoelace, but there is no Shoelace to break him right now.
- Aquamentus is slammed into a wall, where it is finished by several boulders.
Gleeok wrangles around in pain with all of its heads gone (like a decapitated chicken) and lands next to some bombplants, where it then proceeds to explode and cover Ramsey in blood
FairyDarknut cleaves Hal in half, only to see Hal regenerate back to life.
FairyDarknut falls to the ground in a heap of Voidmail as its soul is sucked out in a fashion similar to the Witch King's death.

WindStrike · (This post was last modified: 08-02-2013, 11:25 PM by WindStrike.)

More random killings. Because killing is fun.

Gel1 drops to 0hp and is turned to goo. Ramsey, go mop the floor, slave.
Gel2 is disintegrated upon contact, much like Ramsey will be when WindStrike fires an ICBM at him momentarily.
Gel1 finds its blood everywhere and wonders why it existed in the first place.
Gel is screwed, just like all other gel.
Keese is slammed into a wall and dies in one shot.
Gel2 has daylights? Now he does... on the sun.
Keese drops dead, Jim. And no one at dinner that night.
Gel fails to see the daylight that his brother saw that one fateful day.
CrabSwarm is incinerated from burn damage before Shane's blade touches him.
BluePatra is sliced and sent to live with Aeris, where he receives a boot to the head and enjoys life on the sun with Keese and co.
Unknown1 blurs Darte, who finds the line between life and death more blurry than ever.
RedWizzrobe is added to Shane's potential before bleeding to death... and then there was silence.
Unknown1 becomes one with the stars to brightly illuminate you all.
Thanks to Sephiroth throwing the Tonberry at Ramsey... the Tonberry is now close enough to attack. Tonberry guts Ramsey and sends him off for experimentation by Dr. Zircon.
- Ramsey doesn't even bother cursing anyone.
- Ramsey decides to haunt Sephiroth.
Tonberry eats a payback crafted by Shane's cooking skills, only to find out it's absolutely delicious! ... and made of poison.
Gel1 is sliced in half as Kirran takes FIRST BLOOD!
Gel2 disintegrates under the shadows of Dex's awesomeness.
Gel is shunned as Bill Gates gives Gel Windows Vista running on an Xbox One. Gel takes its eyeballs and sticks them in his ears and then shoves himself up his own mouth, thereby erasing himself from existence.
Keese is sliced to pieces by Dex's Wooden Sword.
Poe observes as the arrow redirects itself from the pool and connects Poe to the wall of death.
Stalchild dies from the bleeding.
- wut
Hue sees the light and enters it. Oh wait, it's the Keese and co. on the sun. Have fun enlightening everyone's lives!
ReaperPoe enjoys death as the sun rises to finish it off with the power of morning.
ReaperPoe sighs as sigh-duck passes by and takes the rest of his life away.

Orithan · (This post was last modified: 06-15-2013, 11:27 PM by Orithan.)

This post contains all of the death lines used in the Mima's Nightmare quest:

CaveKeese gets torn to pieces by the spikes on Sephiroth's Spiked Boomerang.
Stalfos2 crumbles into bones from the intense heat of Ramsey's PSI Flare.
Stalfos1's spine is chopped in half by Fireblast's White Sword.
Rope2 fries up on the inside from the sparks created by Baegba's Fireball.
ShyGuy gets torn to pieces from the fury of Darte's Zora blades.
CaveKeese is skewered by the impact of the arrow and becomes a shish kabob for Fireblast to devour.
Rope1 is roasted in the intense heat of the double flare casted by Baegba and Ramsey together.
PirahnaPlant2 gets cooked into tasty roasted veggies for Fireblast to munch on.
ShyGuy is cut down through the middle, even its mask being cut in half, as Sephiroth swung his sword from above.
PirahnaPlant's stalk is cut off by Fireblast's firey sword, roasting its stem.
Ramsey curses Fireblast with his last breath as Chenmope king-hits him with Strike.
Fireblast collapses from exhaustion after he just hung on after being clobbered by Chenmope
Ban for Fireblast (fortunately, he got unbanned before this quest was over), to show that we don't tolerate flaming in a non-RP way:
- <+NotHere> This is the worst quest ever.
- <+NotHere> You guys all suck
- <@Sephiroth> BANDOKEN!
- (Sephiroth bans Fireblast)
Chenmope runs over Shane like how a car would run over him.
Me using the wrong shell:
- +DM finally cooks from the inside as Ramsey's fry takes its toll when it dodged Darte's attacks.
- <@Baegba> DM died?
Chenmope finally cooks from the inside as Ramsey's fry takes its toll when it dodged Darte's White Sword.

WindStrike · (This post was last modified: 08-02-2013, 11:23 PM by WindStrike.)

Now filling Termina with some death.

Bee2 drops to -3 hearts and enjoys a taste of its own stinger as it receives a grim reminder of how weak it is.
Bee1 is knocked out as well.
Decadent looks down as Dex pokes him with his claw. With that, Decadent's life comes to a halt as he realizes how much of a fool he was... he forget to buy life when it was on sale.
AquaBeetle fails to live up to life's expectations as a spiked boomerang quickly ends its life.
BanditMeatshield loses his life as the bloody sword guts 'im, turning him from meatshield to deadmeat.
BanditThief trips on a Geodude is knocked out by Dex's sword.
MadMan sidesteps but trips on a Geodude, allowing the frost bolt to slice his head right off, which tumbles off the island and into the burning waters below.
*You head up the path, tripping over a corpse of Darte on the way but ignoring its uselessness.*
GerudoWarrior2 adds to Ramsey's high score death count with two slices to the face.
- [Ramsey]: With my last breath...I just want to say that Jimmy cracked corn and I do care!!!!!
Sephiroth 's boomerang chews through GerudoWarrior2's Intercept and redirects itself back at the MaskedGerudo.
MaskedGerudo is knocked the straight the heck out as the boomerang pwns the crap outta her, killing her.
GerudoWarrior1 slices Fireblast to shreds, proving that Gerudo females are superior to Subrosian females.
- GerudoWarrior1 totally just called out Subrosia there, suckers.
GerudoWarrior1 feels the electrifying power of a supe'd up boomerang, breaking her bones on contact.
ronKnuckle cleaves through Fireblast and sends her corpse into a wall with a swing of Goliath!
*With a simple tap of Ramsey's Poke, Iron Knuckle's soul is sucked out as the remaining heap of armor implodes on itself.*
- *From afar, you can hear the screams of logic crying out in agony.*
GrammarNazi1 falls to Darte's blades as his grammar fails to save him.
-Stelas- [Global Notice] Those of you watching Evo, don't forget to pile massively into #dogface so that we can collectively either discuss SF with you or make fun of you for watching Smash.
- [Darte]: You who spoke, Stelas: leave at once.
- GrammarNazi2 attempts to counterattack Stelas, but his attack lands in the fourth wall, consuming the remainder of his soul.
GrammarNazi3 is sliced into two equal parts as Fireblast's Magic Sword screws grammar over. Screw you, English classes!
GrammarNazi4 is torn to shreds as he questions his existance on this miserable planet.
Vanguard2 feels the last of his lifeforce gush out as Harvey crushes his bones and gut him (yes, guts him) with his hammer!
Harvey is shaken, his bones breaking from the force.
Bob finally perishes to the light of day.
Red_Enrics pulls out a red flag and runs off. (AKA 0 HP)
Vanguard1 is turned into a corpse and sent flying in the crowd of onlooking bandits.
DaBigBoss bleeds to death through his grog-filled armor. The Poe Soul spills out of his corpse.
MadMan2 experiences a sudden lack of jealously and electrons as an axe spills his blood in jealous anger. The universe has reasserted itself.
MadMan3 is disintegrated upon contact with sunlight directly provided by KEESE AND CO.
HouenKyomu finishes MadMan1's rampage with the after effect of a shocking anti-climatic battle.

Orithan · (This post was last modified: 03-02-2014, 08:50 AM by Orithan.)

Orithan putting the death in Identity Thieves since 26th July 2013:

BlueLeever1 succumbs to the Leever Mosaic Virus Sephiroth carried on his Death's Edge.
BlueLeever2 is hung, drawn and quartered by Sephioth while still on the longshot.
Hal is cut open, allowing for the vulture to feast on his carcass.
The infection coming from the wound that the Vulture gave Fireblast spread throughout her body, killing her.
Duplighost1 was hammered into the floor as a peg.
Okuu broke the fourth wall to drop a bomb that then became a small sun that pulled Duplighost2 in, crushing him under the immense pressure.
Kandokyan melted before it's wick had the chance to catch on fire.
GreenWhispy1 exploded, igniting everyone including the Kandokyan that GreenWhispy2 posessed.
The Kandokyan that GreenWhispy2 was in melted and the Whispy blew up.
Machine was cut into byte-sized pieces by Fireblast's sword.
Hal was blown into many little pieces, only to have his fairy put them back together.
Hal got LAZORED as a mass of lasers burned through his body.
Doopliss was finished off by a well-thrown bomb coming from Sephiroth.

WindStrike · (This post was last modified: 08-11-2013, 09:15 PM by WindStrike.)

Continuing off the Termina quest...

DM invokes the power of a jealous death on the first GuaySwarm!
Octorok used to be a Hentai Rapist like Japan, but then it took an arrow to the tentacle.
The steam explosion appears to have engulfed one of the Octoroks, reducing it to a Steam internet outage.
- [Kirran]: (Must be a sale on)
GuaySwarm becomes a rebound shield for the Spiked Boomerang as it explodes on contact.
Octorok2 is torn to pieces as the basic arrow explodes inside of its flesh, turning it inside out.
GhostlyHorse's remaining lifefrocea is converteda to Rebonack.
Rebonack implodes on himself as his items fall to the ground. Thypo Beaver carries Rebonack's soul to the sun, where it will compete with KEESE AND CO. in a competition to enlighten the lives of all others.
Indestructible Carl meets the one pitiful force that causes him to destruct to pieces.
Indestructible Carl returns from the grave briefly to bring the one that killed him with him. Eat destructo beam!
Doc Luggins lugs death in a can around as he sends a minion to the land of the hospital of heathens, you god darn sinners.
A minion screams TAAAAANNNNNNNNNK, the L4D cast appears, and they take Tank's life away. Get out of the 4th wall!
Mr. Blobby finds himself less blobby as blood pours out of the blob that is himself while he ponders why The Boy left him to die. And thus, The Boy and his Blob was no more.
Gonzo clubs a man to death, turns the club and the man into a club sandwich, and he enjoys his sandwich as things explode around him.
"Grevious Bodily Harm" Nosher enjoys multiple stab wounds in accordance to his name and hugs Dex as he bleeds his final moments and gives Dex his loving memories.
- As Nosher dies, his body turns to roses as "My Heart Will Go On" suddenly starts playing and echoing through the palace. The mist disperses spontaneously in confusion, and most everyone fighting just looks up and questions why the 4th wall just started to break.
Greed King ignores the sudden music and swings a massive sword at some Dekus trying to run away. Their heads are sent like golf balls flung by the physical incarnation of angst itself.
Leadpipe Stevens thwacks the crap out of a minion with a pipe of lead and sucks the minion's blood through the pipe like a straw. I like to drink the blood of my enemies, too.
Kirran fires a warning arrow. The arrow whizzes past GreedKing's head and finds its home inside of the brain of one of his minions, where it will enjoy the rotting brain as it ceases to exist.
Walter brings the hurt, squishing a minion under the pressure of a shield and its forcefully gravimetric physics.
Zack, despite being one of the strongest of Dex's minions due to having main character powers from a core that was in a crisis, was overrun by many minions and joins the lifestream.
Gruntzilla stomps all over a minion, wrecks the minion's limbs to pieces, and then claims he can take on the Invincible Taxi. I call hax.
Right Said Fred takes a right turn and the right choice as his victim takes the wrong path in life and ends up on the right side of death, says Fred.
Vincent_Valentine gets shattered by the frozen stalagmite, causing his blood to splatter all over the area.
Shamu the Destructor finds his life terminated as his destructive powers implode on himself in a horrendous manner. Shamu shamu is no more.
Lenny sends a minion to Denny's, where many Kennys were lying in wait. Every penny spent there was worth it.
Kirran's arrow lands a killing blow, severing the curse of bad luck as GreedKing acquires the one thing his greed avoided - Death in its finest. Enjoy your wealth in the afterlife.
- [Kirran]: I told him he could have my arrows.
- [Gimley]: AND MY AXE!
Mack the Knife is converted to a knife and gouges the eyes of his victim. It's not clean like Dex's work, but at least it killed him.
Joey Joe Johnson jacks up the jelly and jellos the slam jam as the minion is jailed to his jawbreaking death.
Xibit exhibits a ribbiting display of life inhibiting abilities with some phat beetz on his new armor (aka, the carcass of his victim).
Smilin' Jack reaches his grave with a smile and high-fives KEESE AND CO. on the way over to heaven.
Lefty, despite not being right, turns a minion into leftovers for the vultures to enjoy a nice hearty breakfast for the following morning.
Fingers McGee inserts his fingers into painful spots on the victim as the rest of this death line is censored with a NSFW tag. Note to self - stay away from Fingers McGee.
- [Nolyghots]: Now I know that whenever Fingers McGee is around, that I've seen enough hentai to know where that is going.
Clancy ends up being part of a novelistic death, though there were no guns involved - only clubs, shields, and the painful impacts caused by physics.
Metal Gear Pete sneaks up to the minion from behind. His cardboard box wraps around the man's legs. He looks down as an exclamation mark pierces his chest, and his beating heart is used to power a metal gear from beyond the 4th wall. Sneaky Metal Gear Pete is... truly Solid.
- [DM]: Snake approves.
Sephiroth watches as EnlightenedSephiroth blasts off at the speed of light to the sun, to enlighten others' lives with KEESE AND CO.
- EnlightenedSephiroth shatters as his enlightenment is taken away by KEESE AND CO., who have rejected his ability to enlighten others. Instead, he will suffer the fate of being forgotten.
Haldoken is sliced and diced to death as the trifo- I mean trinity finishes his overpowering life.
Waterblast is frozen back into the wall by the shock of that which we call overkill.
- Waterblast is also no longer adorable as a corpse.
PhantomAgahnim implodes sponataneously as he curses DM for failing to give him a wand. The universe has reasserted itself.

WindStrike · (This post was last modified: 08-28-2013, 10:49 PM by WindStrike.)

Kicking is in session...

Firerobe is thwacked upside the head and melts into the bottomless abyss of... crap. What a load of crap he was.
*As the next round stats, RockGolem overloads from his Mega Man powers as he bleeds enough rocks to power Darte's entrance.*
*Everyone lands on some painful sawblades, taking $1d4 damage. This is reduced by armor, fyi. So everyone, roll $1d4.*
- Vincent_Valentine is sawed right down the middle.
ArmoredStalfos is caught in between Navi and Kefka and strikes himself in confusion, killing himself.
Enderman did not live to see the light of abusing the terrain.
GrammarNazi loses the remainder of his life to a flurry of periods. He attempts to correct KEESE AND CO.'s grammar, but his lack of enlightenment is unsuccessful, and he goes down as a misprint in Webster's Dictionary for the rest of his life.
- [Kirran]: Revenge of the MLA style, nerd!
GrammarNazi raises 50, and... folds. With that, he folds his life down to a simple sentence: DM is a hacker.
JealousTypos diies ing ea the palce.
ChainsawJason drops dead as his death is graded with confetti made of blood and failure.

Back to tutorials!

Gel1 experiences pain like never before as Green-man Jimmy splatters over Gouanaco's shield, turn it to a Hulk-like shield.
Gel2 has been Hulked down to OBLIVION. His corpse attempts to degrade into ooze on the floor, but Fireblast124 swoops up the gelly and drinks it.
Keese wonders what love is as a baby known as Gouanaco's Hulk shield causes Keese to disappear from life and song.
Gel walks up to heaven. Heaven's gates remain shut. Gel inquires for further explanation, but Engineer kicks him out of heaven by extending his head like a punching glove. Nope.avi
Gel1 forgets the meaning of life while scaring himself into not existing after seeing that ban list. The PSI Arrow pins him to a graveyard of banned cards. His corpse will forever be looking at it and crying for all eternity.
Gel2 experiences the power of banned cards as his Judgment is ripped to Solemn pieces from the power of Stratos rage. Clearly, a Heavy Storm occured.
JudgeKeese asks for asylum. He gets jailed in Arkham Asylum. Popo says HI.
Vincent_Blaze's shield becomes smeared with Gel's remains. He uses it slick his own hair, when Herder spits out a raisin. You sell your soul to a orange, but a chicken decides that Tatl can fit inside of a duckling. The universe reasserts itself in confusion, and Joey sucks. Now we're happy.

WindStrike · (This post was last modified: 09-29-2013, 12:09 PM by WindStrike.)

One of these days, Gels and Keese are going to revolt:

Gel1 experiences pain like never before as Green-man Jimmy splatters over Gouanaco's shield, turn it to a Hulk-like shield.
Gel2 has been Hulked down to OBLIVION. His corpse attempts to degrade into ooze on the floor, but Fireblast124 swoops up the gelly and drinks it.
Keese wonders what love is as a baby known as Gouanaco's Hulk shield causes Keese to disappear from life and song.
Gel walks up to heaven. Heaven's gates remain shut. Gel inquires for further explanation, but Engineer kicks him out of heaven by extending his head like a punching glove. Nope.avi
Gel1 forgets the meaning of life while scaring himself into not existing after seeing that ban list. The PSI Arrow pins him to a graveyard of banned cards. His corpse will forever be looking at it and crying for all eternity.
Gel2 experiences the power of banned cards as his Judgment is ripped to Solemn pieces from the power of Stratos rage. Clearly, a Heavy Storm occured.
JudgeKeese asks for asylum. He gets jailed in Arkham Asylum. Popo says HI.
Vincent_Blaze's shield becomes smeared with Gel's remains. He uses it slick his own hair, when Herder spits out a raisin. You sell your soul to a orange, but a chicken decides that Tatl can fit inside of a duckling. The universe reasserts itself in confusion, and Joey sucks. Now we're happy.*
Gel1 drops dead with a single slice, as if it degraded to Jon's level.
Gel2 gives up on life as Rekora upgrades to a Desolator and sends Gel to the afterlife, where Pugna takes its soul and turns it into his slave.
Keese is bashed for attempting to carry with Wisp.
Gel chokes on his own dice as Rekora's blade slices him up and serves his gooey remains to WindStrike. What a hearty little drink!
Vincent_Valentine is still dinner for the dragon, and still doesn't suit him enough for how large he is.
Gel1 hath died to Bruce Springsteen's overpowering light.
Gel2 returns to a gellatinous (sp?) pile of goo, perfect for Peppy's roast beef recipe. What.
- Krowbar eats the jelly remains
Keese experiences what it means to be insignificant in life. It now feels like a Gel.
On the way, Gel explodes spontaneously as Krowbar crosses the finish line.
Gel1 is blasted to bits and smears yet more stains on the floor. Fireblast124, clean it up, newb.
Gel2 is splattered against Fireblast124's face, who then proceeds to exceed existence by bombing WindStrike.
Keese is whipped into a deathly batarang and sent flying into Fireblast124, shutting up his evil laugh.
- Gel is also incidentally killed by Mr. Batarang Keese because Gel is planted on Fireblast124's face.
Gel1 is sliced in half by Zebes' sword and sent flying by WindStrike's landing on the sun. It splatters on the moon, where it will fail to enlighten rocks.
Gel2 suddenly feels the power of death, lagging through the internet at the speed of dial-up.
Keese is slammed like space jam (COME ON AND SLAM, AND WELCOME TO THE JAM), pasted in a PBJ and eaten by Charles Barkley. There was much approval.
Gel fails to get any action against these menacing foes. Truly, only the work of a demon could smash these two to pieces before they could do anything. Or the work of newbies.

Quests don't seem to have as many deaths these days. I must fix this with some improv dungeons.

As The_Law's fate draws closer, Martial Law sends him to court, destroys the court in a fit of drunken rage, and eats The_Law's soul.*
Light emenates from the StaticChu for several seconds before it pops into jelly jibblets.
- [StaticChuChu]: BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE
The leaver leaves without giving us his number... then explodes!
- [Leever1]: WAIT, IT'S 481-516-2342---- *dies*
Armos is sliced straight down the middle. There's not even an explosion as its stone body experiences Hyrule's strongest karate chop.
Vincent_Valentine ... now walks into the previous room, opens the lid to one of the caskets, lies down inside of it, and dies.
RedWizzrobe fades away and attempts to write a movie about its life, only to find out that Hayao Miyazaki beat him to it with Spirited Away. KEESE AND CO. then come to snatch RedWizzrobe's soul and tears away to the sun.
ArmoredStalfos2 crumbles in a heap of bones to the ground. The ground cheers and claps.
ArmoredStalfos1 is blasted into pieces as its bone are engulfed by the omnivorous walls.
FireKeese2 falls dead to a powerful leap from Dhoo and his Dhooland skillet of skills.
FireKeese1 is blasted out of existence by a Zephyrian bash head-on. APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
Goriya1 is sliced in half by SandorClegane's vicious blade, with its head flying into a neverending war between the religions of DOTA and League, forever to lost in a forgotten sea of a religious debate.
DarkSoul is tackled by a ferocious Werewolfos. Baffled by its existence, it considers enlightenment rather than continuing to live in this forsaken world.
Goriya2 bites the dust, with Queen singing its final moments as its reaches enlightenment. However, it has a fake ID for not being the real Goriya, and is denied entrance to the sun for enlightenment by KEESE AND CO. Its ashes spread over the dark side of the moon, crying in eternal agony for the glory of Narnia.
- Aslan roars and approves.
BlueWizzrobe fails yet again and succumbs to a flurry of slashes from Darte's wicked blades. It fades away, wondering why it existed in the first place. DM tells him, "It was for the experience. Good day, sir!"
Mirrorobe is blasted by the Heaven's Silence and finally burns in agony in the physical realm as the blood engulfs its robes and burns the robes into boiling blood and ashes.
Vincent_Valentine crawls into cell B5 and assumes the fetal position.
DarknutSoul passes right through Gibdo's mummy wrappings and tears its soul out. The Gibdo loses its grip and falls off of Red_Enrics, decaying to bones and dust.
Poe loses the last of its lifeforce as Dex's card is too grand for its egotistical comprehension.
BabyDodongo is smacked across the room by Green_Enrics and proceeds to explode!
- *The explosion incinerates the GreenChuChu, but you all manage to shield it off just fine.*
- [DM]: Well that was the fastest battle in the record books.
The lance pierces the BlueDarknut as if nothing was there. At once, its armor rattles until its eyes stop glowing. Its soul is visibly seen leaving its body, before exploding in a rain of blood.
Dhoo is blasted by a creeper as his Minecraft skills fail to save him in this desperate situation. He is then revived by a fairy.
- This is what happens when you play Minecraft on the side.
Sandor's savage strike annihilates the Aquamentus as its body erupts into an explosion of flesh and blood, covering everyone in the dragon's blood.
Tonberry takes a grazenly bash to the head as its dull face is smashed in. The lantern drops to the ground, and its lonely corpse tides over.
Your newly acquired Claymore falls straight through the man's neck, decapitating him with ease.
- [SandorClegane]: beheading is the safest and most assured way to mercy kill someone
Guard gets pelted by the seed barrage as your sword pierces him through the stomach. He lets out a gurgle as green blood pours from his mouth. As he falls silent, he turns into the form of a monster.
- [DM]: (hah, gurgle sounds like nurgle... chaos folks in town, eh?)
- [SandorClegane]: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!!!!!
- *DM high-fives Sandor.*
Baegba succumbs to fate as his life grinds to a halt, his corpse tumbling around on the ground from his large stomach.
Cracktorok is slammed into the gem in the middle of the room, its energy zapping Cracktorok's carcass to oblivion, until the gem itself explodes, and the Cracktorok's carcass a nice, crispy, seafood dinner.
FireyBlowhog is cut down the middle, spilling its combustible liquids out into the battlefield (they won't go off).
The last Water Dumple in group #1 could not handle the insult of being poked and commits suicide.
Water Dumple Group 2, shuddering out of hoplessness, longingly awaited it's demise as a blast of magic made its innards turn outwards.
- Relevant
Cue Pikmin carnage festival!
- The bomb blows up 7 red pikmin, lowering the total number of pikmin to 93.
- 14 Red Pikmin souls floated up to meet KEESE AND CO. on the sun to be enlightened.
  - The rest of the Red Pikmin were killed off by the DM because they outlived the bomb explosion that should have killed them.
- Hal snuffs out the lives of 6 Blue Pikmin and 4 Yellow pikmin with a dispersed blast of magic.
- 4 Yellow Pikmin meets the same fate as 8 of its red cousins.
- 14 Yellow Pikmin and 2 Blue Pikmin blow up as if a Creeper snuck up behind them.
- 8 Blue Pikmin get skewered by Fireblast's Sword.
Sephiroth dies from the cheapness of the turn order.
- *Sephiroth 's fairy revives him back to three hearts.*
- *Sephiroth curses DM and the turn order once more.*
DM punished Arder for getting excellent hax by rerolling him, resulting in his untimely defeat.
Arm1 is blasted to oblivion by Vincent's Quicksilver, annihilating it.
- [Dex]: Hey Garunoff! Looks like your stupid phantom thing has been.... DISARMED!
- [DM]: [Garunoff]: .....
- [Dex]: Now *THAT* is entertaining!
Your eyegouger gougers the void out of the leg..... what.
Vincent_Valentine has no chance at doging.
- *Vincent_Valentine just resumes the fetal position.
*Your lance pierces the body, causing an automatic 50 damage to the remainder of Penumbra's Phantom's hearts.
*Kirran dies and is revived at 3 hearts by his psychofairy friend.
*Your bullets send the phantom into oblivion. The eyes rapture into its head as the collective voids implode, causing a black hole! Everyone roll wisdom!
- [Vincent_Valentine]: DEATH NUMBER FIVE.
  - [Vincent_Valentine]: I HOLD THE WORLD RECORD FOR MOST DEATHS IN A SINGLE ZURPG QUEST.
  - [Kirran]: You should carry a fairy fountain around with you Vincent.
- You all get sucked into the black hole, and most of you die as the vacuum shoots a cannon of blood out of the other end.
  - *Only Red_Enrics and the DarknutSoul survived the black hole.

Orithan · (This post was last modified: 10-20-2013, 05:52 AM by Orithan.)

Continuing (and finishing) Identity Thieves:

Green_Enrics punches Emilica
- Emilica gets sent flying into the sky
- Emilica gets burned in the sky
Red_Whispy1 is vanquished by the force of a Werewolfos leaping onto it.
Red_Whispy2 hurls a fireball at Dhoo
- Red_Whispy2 strikes Dhoo, dealing 3 damage.
- *Firey sparks rain down on everyone (Roll Wisdom)*
- Green Enrics is burnt to a crisp by a fireball spark
Red_Whispy2 explodes before it could burn Dhoo with Flame Body.
Red_Lanmola sacrificed itself in vain to attempt to protect the Seraphs.
Harvey blows Seraph1 to pieces with a massive blast of his magic.
Seraph2 is struck down to a sandy grave by a powerful blast of Magic.