1-27-14: Sheikah Trials - WindStrike - 01-27-2014
Kirran was summoned to the Temple of Time by Rauru for an unknown reason. On the way, he ran into two particular rascals, Darte Fellshard and Dex Eyegouger. They tagged along with Kirran. They all ended up getting pulled into a realm of darkness, its actual whereabouts unknown. Impa appears before them to set them on the Sheikah Trial, which is an initiation rite to become full fledged members of the Sheikah Tribe. Somehow, Red Enrics drunked his way into the realm.
Before the first test began, everyone was inhibited. The first part of the trial was to defeat the Essence of Darkness. It was a difficult foe. They tried various things, but they found conventional methods of attack to be useless. After trial, error, and shenanigans (see Dex breaks the game below in the Moments), they manage to defeat the Essence of Darkness. He appears before the group as an illusion of his true Sheikah form, but before he's able to properly leave, the illusion is impaled by a dark red spear, which forces the illusion to fade away. A voice asks them if they would like to try out their test.
Additionally, Dex Eyegouger and Kirran both overcame their disabilities and received their respective Signature Moves.
The second trial begins against the Essence of Light, though it continues to be interrupted by the Essence of the Unseen, an invisible entity that claims that she wants to help the party out. Kirran, Darte Fellshard, Dex Eyegouger, and Red Enrics all question who their real enemy is. Nonetheless, they fight against the powerful being of Light and philosophize with it in an attempt to find out the truth behind the trials.
Eventually, the combination of Darte and Dex figure out how to make the Light stop radiating, as they both cover and hug the Light. With the Light no longer having an infinite supply of power, Dex eventually lands a finishing blow on it, defeating the Light. They’re all warped to a different realm temporarily, allowing the Light to materialize before them once again and telling them of the issue with the Sheikah.
The Sheikah are split into two groups – the current ones, that will protect and die for the Royal Family. And the old ones, revived from the Old Shadow Temple. They seek to protect to the Royal Family until it is too weak to protect. Additionally, the Light reveals that the realm they’ve been taking the trials in is a realm that any Sheikah can access. However, they should be able to trace any Sheikah that uses an illusion to enter the realm, but they were unable to trace the Unseen. The Light tells them of the possibility that the Unseen may be Bloodwind, who’s been known for being adept at using illusions.
In the third and final trial of the Sheikah Trials, Kirran, Darte Fellshard, Dex Eyegouger, and Red Enrics find themselves facing the Essence of Shadow. It is a two-dimensional being that exists in the shadows of others. It copies the moves of others and creates magical lights around the room.
After two rounds of appearing to do nothing against this being, the Essence of Betrayal appears as a floating set of firey claws. It hovers from above, threatening to control others. The party manages to defeat the intruder, but not after losing two members themselves. In the last two rounds, it falls down to Kirran and Darte. It seemed the Essence of Shadow had taken damage and was bleeding, but they were unable to figure out why. In the end, they failed to defeat the being in time, and they lost the trial.
Thankfully, they'd already passed the first two trials. They were awaiting Impa to arrive when, instead, someone else arrives. He calls himself the Essence of Command, and he recognizes the Rokan's Lance that Kirran carries. The essence laughs and remarks that he'll kill its new user, too. He finally reveals himself to be Garunoff, Essence of Command.
<DM> *You round the corner of the backside of the Temple and find a black GossipStone.*
<Dex> That's racist.
<Dex> That is the most racist thing.
* Kirran silently approaches the stone.
<DM> *Dex, you are green.*
<DM> *And short.*
<Dex> You're totally being speciest too.
<DM> *You all hear a whisper from the stone.*
<GossipStone> ... come... closer.
<Dex> Creepy.
<DM> THAT'S racist.
<Dex> Hey I'M not the one who made a black gossip stone and then chained it to the back of the temple.
<DM> *You all find yourselves standing in a plane of abyssal darkness, yet you are all able to see each other as if you are all illuminated at point blank range.*
<Dex> Welp. I'd bet this is the realm of shadow or something stupid like that.
<Kirran> No Dex, THIS is creepy.
<DM> *Relax, you're not in Shady's mind.*
<DM> *There is another among you. She stands tall behind Kirran with short, white hair and red eyes. Her outfit is that of a warrior, and on both the front side and back side of her armor is the red symbol of the Eye of Truth.*
<Dex> KILL IT!
<???> I am Impa, personal aide to Princess Zelda, Guardian of the Shadow Temple, and holder of the Medallion of Shadows.
<DM> *You also notice someone stumbling around in a drunken stupor.*
<DM> *Red_Enrics, nutshell, you are standing in an abyss of darkness. How you got here is a mystery.*
<Red_Enrics> Can you at least explain how I got here-fuck it, I always end up in weird place, I'm not even gonna bother asking.
<Dex> At least you have your pants on this time.
<Impa> Sir Enrics, even I do not know how you got here. It worries even me.
<Kirran> Truth be told, boss, he kind of does that.
<DM> *The plot said Red_Enrics was here. That's how.*
<Maliki> (Red_Enrics must have got so drunk. He got so lost that he bent the space time continuum)
<DM> (FASCINATING)
* Impa vanishes into the darkness... and each of you feel something different.
<DM> *Dex Eyegouger, you lose your ability to see.*
<DM> *Darte Fellshard, the nerves to your arms become numb. You are unable to hold any items.*
<DM> *Kirran, you are unable to distinguish between Light, Darkness, and Shadow.*
<DM> *Red Enrics.... sigh....
<DM> *Red Enrics, you are completely sober, your stance is upright, and you are incapable of jumping, tripping, falling, etc. The only movements you can make with your legs involves walking.*
<DM> *Red, you march forward painfully, because not being drunk is sadness incarnate for you.*
< Dex> Gunna try to steal the Darkness.
* Kirran facepalms
* DM facepalms
* Darte facepalms.
< Kirran> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxzJGgox_E
< Darkness> what is that lizard! doing
< Darkness> what
< Darkness> what
< Darkness> what
(they roll for it)
< Dex> HOLY SHIT
< Dex> I STOLE THE DARKNESS
< DM> *You steal a portion of the Darkness, but it starts grasping away from your hands. Got a container for it?*
< Dex> bottle yo
< Darkness> ......................................
< Dex> BOTTLE YO
< Dex> SLAM IT IN
< DM> *You bottle the Darkness. I will write this for you later.*
< Kirran> I have no words adequete.
< DM> *Because I am currently wallowing in a multi-layer face-palm charade of sadness.*
< Kirran> I reiterate
< Kirran> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxzJGgox_E
* Darkness facepalms
< Darkness> I am confused on so many levels right now.
< Dex> Soooo.
< Dex> THAT happend.
< DM> * Dex, YOU HAVE CONFUSED THE DARKNESS.*
< Dex> I don't even CARE if we lose now.
< Dex> I AM THE GREATEST!
< Dex> WOO!
* Darte blinks in sheer startlement at the sudden collapse of the Darkness into Dex's spirit bottle.
< Dex> Hey Kirran.
< Dex> You can totally bottle Darkness.
< DM> *There is still Darkness in the room, but it is not as apparent as it was.*
< Dex> Guys.
< DM> *You can see the lights creating a figure on the Darkness. Even Kirran can see this outline.*
< Dex> I bottled The Darkness!
< DM> *The Darkness is LITERALLY facepalming.*
< Dex> This is the kinda shit that gets turned into legends!
< Dex> Someone write a ballad about this.
< DM> *You know what, maybe I should've made the Darkness Mr. Popo. That way, it could not have possibly have worked.*
* DM slaps Dex with...................... just continue on.
< Dex> I can't wait to tell Bob.
< Darte> "I can't help but wonder what lessons we were supposed to learn from this that the foul lizard! has entirely subverted with this action."
< Dex> I LAUGH AT YOUR RULES
< Dex> HA
< DM> *Those of you that facepalm realize that you only see Darkness as you facepalm.*
< DM> *Want a hint? There's your hint.*
* DM goes back to facepalming.
< Dex> What to do with it....
< Dex> Dark light?
< Dex> Black light!
< Dex> DARK GOLEM OF DOOM
< Dex> BOW BEFORE MY MIGHT TINY MORTALS
< Dex> I still have a SECOND cunning plan too!
* DM pokes Darte with a stick.
< DM> *It's official. Dex is Jim from Darths & Droids.*
<Dex> Ok dude.
<Dex> Give up right now.
<Dex> SERIOUSLY.
<Darkness> Me?
<Dex> Yes you.
<Darkness> No.
<Dex> I have a CUNNING PLAN.
<Darkness> I can't give up. I'm the Darkness.
<Dex> Come work for me dude.
<Dex> I got a sweet ass base going on.
<Darkness> No.
<Darkness> I work for no one.
<Dex> Having the incarnation of Darkness would totally be awesome.
<Darkness> In fact... I don't have to work. I just exist.
<Darkness> HAH!
<Dex> Suit yourself. Let's see if this works.
* Dex pokes the Darkness.
<DM> *The fourth wall cracks open and pukes out its brain.*
<DM> *Sephiroth wakes up the next morning to find that he has died in his sleep.*
<DM> What.
<DM> Just.
<DM> Happened.
<Dex> I poked the Darkness.
<DM> *You successfully poke the Darkness. It takes 1 damage.*
<DM> I
<DM> .........
<DM> I am hearing the most interesting thing in voicechat.
<DM> DoubleEx is dying.
<DM> This is amusing on so many levels.
<Darkness> I have no words to describe what the hell just happened.
<Dex> I'll do it again next turn too.
<Dex> Don't think I won't.
<DM> *Dex, you actually FELT your poke hit something. It felt like... weightless goo.*
<Darkness> This was... by far... the most interesting test... I've given...
<Darkness> Congratulations. You have passed the trial. Would you like to continue?
<Dex> WHAT
* Darte blinks.
<Dex> I wanted to poke the Darkness again.
<Darkness> Also, **** you lizard.
* Kirran laughs
<Dex> YOU BEST STEP OFF SON!
< Darte> ready when ready.
< Dex> MY LIFE FOR AUIR
* DM high-fives Dex.
< DM> -=QUEST CONTINUE=-
< Dex> EN TARO A'DUN
< Dex> WARP SUCCESSFUL
< Red_Enrics> (I think this matches the atmosphere of the channel fairly well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4AO0YZtiE0 )
< Darte> Perfect Red
< DM> *Recap! Last time, you were all eaten by a black (and racist) Gossip Stone and taken to... you have no idea where, actually. Impa told you that your Sheikah Trials were to begin. Though this was for Kirran, the lot of you joined in as well.*
< Dex> WE CANNOT HOLD
< DM> *Your first trial was against a being of pure Darkness. After various shenanigans (cough Dex), you eventually defeated it.*
< Dex> HONOR GUIDE ME
< Kirran> Darte got really angry, Dex broke reality, Red set a record for his longest sobreity, and Kirran got philospohical.
< DM> *Fyi, Red is still sober and movement impaired, and Darte still can't feel his arms.*
< DM> *Meanwhile, Dex and Kirran get to enjoy their signature moves.*
< Dex> MY MEDITATION IS OVER
< DM> * Dex STOP BEING A ZEALOT
< Dex> IT IS SAID THAT IGNORANCE IS BLISS
< Dex> TELL ME IS THIS TRUE?
< DM> *However, when the being of Darkness was defeated and appeared with a more definitive form, it was stabbed. Another voice appeared, and it asked if you wanted to try its trial.*
< Dex> WE STAND AS ONE
* DM dies.
< Kirran> And we ended on the Mortal Kombat movie cliffhanger.
< Dex> COMBAT IS THE ANVIL OF WAR
<Dex> Light dude. Don't worry we didn't do anything. I mean look at us. Fishlips isn't even a threat, he's ARMLESS!
<Darte> "It's just repeating itself. Just wait'll I..."
<Dex> But you really gotta HAND it to him. I give him two THUMBS up.
<Dex> QUICK FISHLIPS LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS!
<Dex> He might believe us if we all DISARM!
<Darte> Shut your sonorous slapsack, scathescales.
<Dex> Awww what's the matter. You used to be so HANDY!
<Dex> Do you need a little more ELBOW room?
<DM> *Roll initiatives!*
<Dex> wait
<Dex> WAIT
<Dex> Darte shouldn't be able to roll.
<Dex> He's not as MANUSing!
<Dex> Darte doesn't find this very HUMERUS!
<Dex> I'm just going out on a LIMB here. But should we give you a HAND?
* Darte taunts the Light!
<Darte> "Oi! You think ye can just be a big ol' ball of flaming Light? I've seen brighter Lights than you in a Poe's lantern!"
<DM> *You successfully taunt the Light!*
<Light> Grr, you shall pay for that! I shall burn so brightly that you turn to Darkness before me!
<DM> *The **** did the Light just say.*
<Kirran> (It's gone to PLAID!)
<Kirran> Any bright ideas, Darte?
* Darte scowls at Kirran.
<Darte> "Not the time for jokes."
* Kirran only just now realizes that he made a pun.
<DM> How enlightening.
<Kirran> I ask again, possessor of Light? Would you risk your existence against us, given the possibility of truth?
* Red_Enrics is starting to get drunk from being to sober. (ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES, DM.)
<Light> What truth?
<Kirran> That there is an interference in these trials. I cannot judge the surety of her claims, but she is here nevertheless.
<Kirran> She claims you false, and you claim ignorance of her presence.
<Light> She? There are only two female Sheikah among the Sheikah - Impa and Sheik. Are you calling one of them betrayers?
<Kirran> I could not say. The voice was feminine, to the best of my knowledge.
<Dex> It made him feel funny in his pants. That's how he knows.
<Light> SINNERS!
<Red_Enrics> Your Lightness
<Red_Enrics> I'm the only sinner here.
<Red_Enrics> [/SoberDrunk]
* DM just implodes.
* SerikkaTonatsu fixes DM's brain from behind the scenes
* DM re-unimplodes. What.
<Darte> "I think we're in agreement, Kirran."
<Darte> "Allies against a common foe?"
<Dex> Would singing help?
<Dex> I've been working on a song since we lack a true bard.
<DM> oh no Dex
<DM> oh god no
<Dex> Yo, Darte, let's kick it.
* Darte attempts and fails to point at the Surf Harp at his hip indignantly.
<Dex> I CANT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU DAWG
* Darte sighs and shakes his head in exasperation.
<Darte> "Sing for me, bruddah."
* Kirran will totally whistle along.
<Dex> ZURP, ZURP baby.
<Dex> ZURP, ZURP baby.
* DM throws himself out of the window. Now. Immediately.
<Dex> Alright halt and listen up the to best,
<Dex> Dex is back with a brand new quest.
<Dex> Grabs his Eyegouger, holds it tightly,
<Dex> And Darte flows like the Zora's River daily and nightly.
<Dex> Will Red stop drinking? Yo! We don't know. Turn of the Lights and watch his nose glow!
<Dex> To the extreme Kirran is lancing that vandal. Light them up with magic just like a candle.
<Dex> THATS ALL IVE GOT SO FAR
<DM> that's all you have permanently
<DM> cause
<DM> ......
* Darte stares at Dex incredulously.
* Darte attempts and fails to facepalm.
<Light> I feel something... something has entered the room.
* Darte (~KenoguLab@c-76-28-207-252.hsd1.wa.comcast.net) has left #zurpg (Leaving)
* Darte (~KenoguLab@c-76-28-207-252.hsd1.wa.comcast.net) has joined #zurpg
<Kirran> And then something left...
<Red_Enrics> I'M GOING TO BREAK LOGIC
* Red_Enrics picks up a LightSpirit. (Nothing says you can't do this. :3)
<DM> (oh my god)
<Kirran> (Ahahaha)
<DM> *You pick up one of the Light Spirits.*
* DM commits seppuku. Repeatedly.
* Red_Enrics throws the LightSpirit at another Light spirit. (Power vs Courage)
<Light> what
<Red_Enrics> (Thus, killing two, instead of one.)
<Red_Enrics> (That was just, a beautiful strategy.)
< Dex> Shake off your robes Fishlips.
* Darte whispers to Dex, "Help me take my clothes off."
< DM> .........
< Kirran> 0_)
< DM> did you
< DM> have
< DM> to word it
< DM> that way
* Dex helps Fishlips get nude.
* Kirran is glad he's blindfolded
* Orithan (~ Orithan@120.147.242.200) has joined #zurpg
< Darte> 23h1m | Sexually Abusive
< DM> * Orithan, you-....
< DM> .......
< DM> I
< DM> okay, so Darte... state your actual action
< Kirran> http://lparchive.org/Dead-Rising-2/Images/21-w4rsaC1.gif
* Darte prepares to perform a combined attack with Dex.
< Dex> combo attack
< Dex> stripping the robe off Darte and covering the Light with it
* Darte strips down, shaking his robe off to fall over Dex's head and drape down to the ground around him.
<Unseen> * Darte, you have armor on. You are not naked, god danigt.*
< Darte> (I do have armour and smallclothes on underneath, sheesh. Perverts)
* Kirran is still blindfolded, he wouldn't know...
< Red_Enrics> (Zelda Universe Role Porning Game)
< DM> ........
< Red_Enrics> (...And with that, I'm getting kicked.)
* Orithan kicks Red_Enrics out the window
<Light> What do mean, knowledge I do not posses?!
<Light> I am the Light! I shine upon all and uncover all!
<Unseen> Oh? Then why am I still invisible?
<Kirran> You've demonstrated to me several times that you're ignorant of the most basic of knowledge for a Sheikah, the full royal lineage.
<Dex> Except when hugged.
<Light> What basic knowledge?! There- what
<Light> ....
<Light> **** you, lizard.
<Dex> You want another shanking?
<Light> Come and try it!
* Dex sidles closer to Light.
* Dex acts nonchalant.
* Dex attempts a steal.
<Light> You cannot let either Princess Zelda or Lord Eldin fall or weaken, or else something terrible will happen!
* Light is distracted by his words... Dex, steal away. Free steal, actually.
<Red_Enrics> Wait, if we're suppose to be protecting Zelda and Eldin right now....
<Red_Enrics> Then what are we doing here?
* Light fails to notice Dex. First one success!
<Light> Currently, they are quite powerful. But later, when you have the power to protect them, you must keep them alive!
* Darte points at Kirran. "His intentions were honorable. He would not yet have known of his duty."
* Light just now notices Dex. Too late, second one success!
<Light> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
<Light> I'M SPOUTING EXPOSITION, LIZARD!
<DM> *You manage to steal from the Light!*
<Light> **** YOU LIZARD!
<Darte> "And I am sure they could use more fully-fledged members into their ranks."
<Kirran> Not untested.
<Kirran> I would never join the ranks without having proven myself Darte.
<DM> *You find no pockets. You can... attempt to uhh... bottle... the god darn Light.*
* Darte nods.
<Dex> bottle that son of a bitch
<Darte> "Hence our presence here. We have done no wrong."
* Light goes back to ignoring Dex as the lizard steals a part of the Light and bottles it.
<???> I heard you defeated the first two trials.
<Red_Enrics> You're damn right we did!
<???> Can you defeat me?
* Red_Enrics shrugs
<Red_Enrics> Probably not.
<Red_Enrics> We've had so much trouble with the other two trials
<Red_Enrics> We're gonna get wrecked
<???> I see. Well... no one has defeated me before.
<Kirran> Why so gloomy Red?
<Kirran> Assuming Dex finds a way to bend reality, we can't end up too badly off.
<Red_Enrics> Well excuse me, SOMEBODY had to waste my both of my fairies.
* Red_Enrics is grumpy.
<Kirran> You can have my red potion if you want.
* DM had no part in that. It was totally the light man. You just gotta not walk into the light.
<???> Let us... fight.
<Dex> Forsoothe goode sirrah! I know not what thou talkest abouteth.
<Red_Enrics> Explosions
<Red_Enrics> We blew up multiple times
<Red_Enrics> Like my great grandfather
<Red_Enrics> Michael Bay Enrics the 5th
* DM face-palms.
<DM> *Red_Enrics, from now on, when you die, you will explode.*
<Raine> Tee hee...
<Raine> Exploding Red...Red everywhere...
* Red_Enrics flops onto his shadow.
* DM face-palms.
< Darte> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOl3f_5TouM
< DM> *You flop onto the ground, attempting to cover your shadow.*
< Red_Enrics> 37h 11m | Drunk | Michael Bay | Sunglasses | Flopped
< DM> *However, one of the lights from the wall shines at you from an angle. Your shadow is small, existing on the other side of you still.*
* Red_Enrics gets back up
< Red_Enrics> *Flop cured*
< Red_Enrics> *Sunglasses break*
< Red_Enrics> *Sunglasses cured*
< Red_Enrics> *Hasn't exploded in the last turn*
< Red_Enrics> *Michael Bay cured*
< Red_Enrics> *Goes sober*
< Red_Enrics> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
< Red_Enrics> *Drunk cured*
* Darte flips the Ten-Sided Coin.
<Kirran> Oh no...
<Darte> $1d10
<Tatl> Darte: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 1. Total: 1. Successes: 0.
<DM> (wait wait wait)
<DM> (state your problem)
<Darte> ....
<Darte> "I was trying to solve my shadow..."
<Darte> Now I've got 100 problems
<Shadow> The hell did you just roll?
<Shadow> Is that... a coin? Or a dice?
* Darte throws a re-roll
<Darte> $1d10
<Tatl> Darte: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 10. Total: 10. Successes: 2.
* DM dies laughing.
<Kirran> Well....
<DM> WHELP
<DM> ... flip the coin
<Kirran> That happened.
<Darte> $1d2
<Tatl> Darte: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Tails (2). Results: 0 Heads (1) - 1 Tail (2).
<DM> *The coin lands with a definitive thump onto the ground. It sticks to the ground, and then the floor plunges into a despair of darkness around you, Darte.*
<DM> *Darte, you find yourself falling... falling and falling... into your own Shadow. You continue to fall infinitely, increasing in velocity, until you exceed the capacity for the speed of logic.*
<DM> *You pass out momentarily.*
<DM> *You awaken... and find yourself at the depths of despair. You see Ramsey in a corner, and Fran continuing to explode in another corner.*
* Darte begins to gibber madly.
<DM> *You hear Ramsey curse under his breath... "Curse you Zoidberg!"*
<DM> *Suddenly, Zoidberg appears behind you Darte.*
<DM> *You pass out again.*
<DM> *You finally reappear, one more time... hearing a man rapping "VIDEOGAAAAAMEZ", and now you exist as a hamburger. Welcome to Cuil Land.*
<DM> *The rest of you look for Darte, but he's no longer there with you all.*
<DM> *Darte has died. Congrats on your 10!*
<DM> *Also, your coin is stuck to the concrete floor where you once were.*
<DM> *Your Shadow has been solved! And so have you.*
<Kirran> Well, this sucks.
<Shadow> ... would someone like to tell me what just happened?
<Kirran> Dex won, Darte's gone, and I've got no invisibility potion.
<Shadow> I'm pretty sure I didn't cause that.
<Kirran> Hell if I know.
<Dex> Flip your coin fool.
<Shadow> WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP
<Dex> What's the worst that could happen?
<Shadow> ... weird... I felt like I was possessed for a moment.
<DM> *The Essence of Zoidberg goes to haunt Darte's ghost.*
* Red_Enrics flopity flips his coin
<Red_Enrics> $1d10
<Tatl> Red_Enrics: You rolled 1 Die with 10 Sides. Result: 7. Total: 7. Successes: 1.
<DM> (name your problem)
<Red_Enrics> (I'm not invisible.)
<Red_Enrics> $1d2
<Tatl> Red_Enrics: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Heads (1). Results: 1 Head (1) - 0 Tails (2).
<DM> *Something good happens to you all!*
<Kirran> (Would not have called that.)
<DM> *Null Field no longer blocks recovery. Red_Enrics, you become invisible. This will last until you're either hit or you do an action (simple movement will not break invisibility).*
<Red_Enrics> (I am confusled)
<Red_Enrics> (I'll flip it at the Essence of Betrayal.)
<DM> *The coin lands and pokes one of Betrayal’s eyes out. It now has a permanent eyepatch, and it takes 1 damage.*
<Betrayal> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
<Red_Enrics> YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
<Betrayal> WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
<Red_Enrics> EYEGOUGER BIATCH
<Shadow> What's with those coins?
<Betrayal> How did you get that stuck to me?! I'm made of FIRE!
<Red_Enrics> 37h 11m | Stealing Dex’s Moves
<Kirran> Back door solutions to problems.
* Darte 's eyes widen in fear.
<Darte> "Kirran, what are you doing? You're gonna get us killed!"
* Kirran is still thinking furiously at his controller.
<Darte> (pretty much every console RPG gamer ever)
* DM thinks furiously at what he's controlling, which is controlling something furiously that's thinking furiously about what's controlling him about what's controlling him.
* DM unthinks himself.
* Kirran slips in spirit behind the fourth wall through so much thinking.
<Kirran> Oh, that's what Dex was always talking about.
<DM> Get off my bridge!
* DM kicks Kirran out of the fourth wall and back into the room.
<DM> *Kirran, you regain control of yourself. What.*
* Kirran is feeling more enlightened
<Shadow> How did I lose control suddenly? It's like... a greater force... suddenly altered existence.
<Zoidberg> WOOOOOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP
<Kirran> I still can't divinve the purpose of the trial.
<Kirran> Why is self-harm the answer?
* Shadow stops speaking. Your shadows fade out for an instant before returning to normal.
* Kirran sighs.
<???> It is not self-harm.
<???> It is the ability to defeat and overcome one's self.
<DM> *You hear a deep, deep voice, coming from directly above you.*
<Kirran> Would we not have been better served fighting through Link's trial against his Shadow self?
<Dex> Impa sure sounds manly now.
<???> Hmph. I am not Impa.
<???> I... heh heh heh heh...
<Kirran> I do NOT like that laugh.
<???> Impa will not be seeing you just yet.
<Dex> You heh heh heh heh?
<Red_Enrics> Igor? I know that laugh
<Dex> This also means that we won't be seeing Impa yet!
<???> I am the Essence of Command.
<Dex> LOGIC!
<Red_Enrics> QUIT'CHA MINGLIN, BLOODY OAK TREE
<Red_Enrics> YA WANKA
<Kirran> Man, there's an essence for everything.
<Command> Some of you may know me under a different name...
<Dex> I AM NOW THE ESSENCE OF DEX
<Dex> YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS SUCH
<Red_Enrics> The essence of
<Red_Enrics> Beer?
<Command> That is Rokan's lance, Sheikah, is it not?
<Kirran> It is.
<Command> Excellent. I shall kill its new user too.
<Kirran> Oh shiiii....
<Command> I am Garunoff, Essence of Command. You shall all serve me... or die!
<DM> -=QUEST PAUSE=-
- *Dex, your shanking Eyegouger pierces through the Light. You can see the true Light, clearly now... you just hugged and stabbed a ball of Light. You are enlightened beyond all that is holy, and KEESE AND CO. is now afraid of you.*
- <Dex> SOLVING PROBLEMS ONE STAB AT A TIME!
- <DM> *Dex, you manage to revive to full Hearts and Magic after technically killing yourself with that attack due to shared pain.*
- <DM> *The Light implodes on itself, and the room returns to Darkness. Oddly enough, you can see each other perfectly fine.*
- <DM> *The rest of you look for Darte, but he's no longer there with you all.*
- <DM> *Darte has died. Congrats on your 10!*
- <DM> *Dex, you rip out the Betrayal's eyes, including the stuck coin. You also burn yourself to death.*
- <DM> *Red_Enrics, as you eliminate the Essence of Betrayal with a sweep of your scythe, its fires wrap around you. Michael Bay orchestrates the particles of the flames, and you explode spectacularly, briefly fully illuminating the room for a moment.*
- <Red_Enrics> RED'S THE TRIGGER!
- <Dex> BLEED ME ROCKY
- <Darte> "Oi! You think ye can just be a big ol' ball of flaming Light? I've seen brighter Lights than you in a Poe's lantern!"
- <Light> Grr, you shall pay for that! I shall burn so brightly that you turn to Darkness before me!
- <Light> I am the epitome of blindness! I am not blind; all are blind to me!
- <Light> I exist to test you. If you are to lie to me, then my purpose is to destroy you.
- <Red_Enrics> Your Lightness. I'm the only sinner here.
- <Light> Please, enlightenen me.
- <Kirran> I don't need the Eye of Truth to see you cringing behind your brightness.
- <Kirran> The Light isn't my enemy any more the Darkness is. Both have their stengths and weaknesses. It's in the balance of the two that shadow is created, and that's where we Sheikah hold sway.
- <Kirran> Layers of intrigue, naked fishmen, diabolical bosses? Just another night of classic Zelda RPGing.
- <Light> 41h, 50m | Charge Beta | High Spirits | Bleeding x2 | Internal Bleeding x3 | Diseased | Nerve Toxin | Hugged by Dex
- <Raine> Play and...eat some souls...tasty tasty souls.
- <DM> *Red_Enrics, from now on, when you die, you will explode.*
- <DM> *Darte, you punch the ground with your arm, only to find the ground has been installed with Newton's 3rd Law of Physics.*
- <DM> *Your foot hits the ground. You feel a slight shock run through your leg as physics kicks in..... god dangit, I didn't intend that.*
- <Kirran> Go poking around in there, you might call up images of naked fishmen. Just saying...
- * Kirran tries his best to summon Vincent, master of explosions. *Vincent unappears before himself. It appears to have not worked.*
- <Kirran> Because my tribe are kind of bastards like that and don't particularly like to give clues about this kind of thing.
- <Command> I am Garunoff, Essence of Command. You shall all serve me... or die!
RE: 1-27-14: Sheikah Trial - WindStrike - 01-28-2014
Foes:
Origin: ZURPG
Darkness... It exists where there is no Light, yet it is not caused by Light unlike Shadow. It exists everywhere, yet remains unseen in the Light. When it is visible, none can see it.
A mass of darkness that moves at invisible speeds. It seems impervious to damage, though there is no indication of whether it takes damage or not. Even in the Light, it maintains a form of pure darkness.
- Essence of Darkness is immune to physical damage. No amount of force can defeat it.
- Essence of Darkness exists simultaneously all around you, yet it is also anywhere it wishes to be.
- It can attack you from any direction.
- Essence of Darkness can override various types of attacks when it defends by using its Courage stat.
- Finding out attacks it can't defend with Courage is on you.
- Even when Essence of Darkness is hurt, its remaining Hearts remains unknown.
Origin: ZURPG
Light... a form that illuminates and brings life to color. Its whiteness provides a new spectrum of visual acuity when overlapped with the blackness of Darkness. Many beings radiate this Light naturally, and where there is Light, there is often life. Yet too much Light brings about calamity and death.
Essence of Light is one such being that radiates brightly. It appears to have a definitive form, but it's blotted out by so much Light that it's impossible to tell. Attempting to look directly at it causes damage to one's sight, and beyond that, becoming consumed by the Light itself. Light (Level: 5), Fire (Level: 3)
- If you look directly at Essence of Light, you will suffer damage. The amount increases the more you look at it.
- The first sight will cause you 3 burn damage (neutral). Any action or defense that results in looking at the Essence of Light will also cause this.
- The second sight will cause you 5 burn damage (neutral).
- This continues in increments of +2 burn damage (neutral) per sight.
If you look away from the Essence of Light when you attack it with an attack that targets, you lose 8 dice when attacking.
If you look away from the Essence of Light when it attacks you, you lose 6 dice when defending.
- Essence of Light deals more damage at close range. Likewise, it takes more damage, too.
- Melee attacks made against Essence of Light gain 8 damage.
- Essence of Light gains 8 damage when in melee combat.
- Essence of Light constantly radiates Light and Magic. As thus, its Magic is infinite so long as it able to radiate it.
- At the start of each round, Essence of Light recovers to Maximum Magic.
- If Essence of Light runs out of Magic, it dies.
- Level 10
- If your hands are not carrying anything, you can cast an extra spell with no action cost.
Origin: ZURPG
It appears to be completely invisible. However, when hit, you can see the outline of a humanoid figure. Essence of the Unseen is also telepathic, and it is able to communicate with anyone using telepathy.
- Essence of the Unseen is completely invisible.
- Anyone that targets him loses 10 dice on attacking.
- If Essence of the Unseen is hit, his outline becomes partially visible.
- The dice penalty when attacking him is reduced from 10 to 4.
- This lasts until the end of the next turn.
When Essence of the Unseen attacks, he remains partially visible for the remainder of that turn.
The dice penalty when attacking him is reduced from 10 to 0.
- Requires two different Combo Skills
- This is a Chain Combo skill. It allows you to use a Combo Skill into a different Combo Skill.
- You must say you are using Dual Chain before you start using the first Combo Skill.
- If the first Combo Skill is successful, you can follow up with a different Combo Skill.
- The damage of the first Combo Skill will be halved.
- Level 10 and three different Combo Skills
- This is a Chain Combo skill. It allows you to use a Combo Skill into two more different Combo Skills.
- You must say you are using Triple Chain before you start using the first Combo Skill.
- If the first Combo Skill is successful, you can follow up with a different Combo Skill.
- If that one is successful, you can follow up with a different Combo Skill from the first two Combo Skills.
The damages of the first two Combo Skills will be halved.
- Level 20 and four different Combo Skills
- This is a Chain Combo skill. It allows you to use a Combo Skill into three more different Combo Skills.
- You must say you are using Quad Chain before you start using the first Combo Skill.
- If the first Combo Skill is successful, you can follow up with a different Combo Skill.
- If that one is successful, you can follow up with a different Combo Skill from the first two Combo Skills.
- If the third one is successful, you can follow up with a different Combo Skill from the first three Combo Skills.
The damages of the first three Combo Skills will be halved.
Origin: ZURPG
Where there is a Light, there is a Shadow. So long as the Light is not omniscient, the Shadow lurks and follows. Even when there is no Light, the Shadow exists in the darkness, dormant and unseen, waiting to be revealed.
Everyone has a Shadow, and it is in the shadows of others that the Essence of Shadow exists. It takes the form of others while having no definite form itself. It uses the moves of others in its own ways. In the history of the Sheikah Trials, no one has defeated the Essence of Shadow. Shadow (Level: 6), Light (Level: 2)
- Essence of Shadow exists in the shadows of others, and it has no other form.
- Similar to the Essence of Darkness, there is no indicator that the Essence of Shadow takes damage.
- When someone uses an attack, the Essence of Shadow immediately clones the attack stat of the attacker and gains the stat for itself.
- This will overwrite what Essence of Shadow previously had for that stat.
- The Essence of Shadow is able to clone any move it sees, and fire it at its own discretion.
- The move is automatically converted to Shadow affinity and costs no Magic.
- Any damage it would deal is altered to draining Magic.
- If the original attack says that it deals no damage, the Shadow Copy's version will drain Magic equal to the difference in successes.
- All forms of recovery are nullified.
- If everyone is reduced to 0 Magic, the Essence of Shadow will consume everyone and win the trial immediately.
Origin: ZURPG
I will not bother hiding it. I exist to betray. But I simply pull the trigger. And then... I watch the fun.
The Essence of Betrayal is a large ethereal set of Fire Claws. It hovers around near the ceiling, and behind the claws is a fearsome face of Fire, its eyes and mouth glowing a bright red.
- Anyone that attacks Essence of Betrayal in melee takes burn damage (neutral) equal to the damage caused by the attack.
- Anyone that attacks Essence of Betrayal by ranged takes burn damage (neutral) and loses Magic equal to half of the damage caused by the attack.
- Everytime someone's Magic is drained, Essence of Betrayal gains Current and Maximum Hearts equal to the amount of Magic drained.
- Betrayal's mouth opens wide, and it points at a target.
- Roll your Wisdom +4 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice / Deals no damage
- If successful, Essence of Betrayal takes control of the target.
- Essence of Betrayal will lose control of the target if the target takes more than 10 damage in a single attack.
Control lasts until the end of your turn two rounds later.
Origin: ZURPG
I am Garunoff, Essence of Command. The Sheikah are merely pawns of a lost era of Gerudo. These trials that bring new ones to the modern, cursed Sheikah Tribe shall be terminated. Ahh... I am but a spirit here, with only a fraction of my power. But it is more than enough... Come! Show me what passes for fury upon your misbegotten kind!
The Essence of Command appears to be Garunoff in Spirit Form. At most, you can see an outline of his body and features, his body glowing a spiritual green. A red gem glows from his forehead, and his eyes glow a bright, shining blue. He doesn't appear to have any items equipped save for his clothing. Because he's in the Sheikah Spirit Realm, he is visible to anyone inside and vulnerable to all damage. Nonetheless, he is a formidable opponent. If his enemies do not take him seriously, he will destroy them. Shadow (Level: 4), Fire (Level: 4), Light (Level: 3)
- Roll $init 2d2 for initiative.
- All minions under Garunoff's command grow in power, depending on the number of minions and the order in which they were summoned.
- 2 Minions:
- The first minion gains 5 Power.
- The second minion gains 3 Courage.
3 Minions:
The first minion gains 5 Power and 5 Courage.
The second minion gains 3 dice when attacking or defending.
The third minion gains 3 Wisdom.
4 Minions:
The first minion has Garunoff's base Power, Courage, and Wisdom stats.
Minion's primary stats use Garunoff's base Power stat; the rest of the stats are copied from Garunoff's base stats.
The second minion gains 5 dice when attacking or defending.
The third minion gains 5 Wisdom.
The fourth minion can use Cover at no action cost.
5 Minions:
The first minion has Garunoff's base Power, Courage, and Wisdom stats +3 each.
Minion's primary stats use Garunoff's base Power stat +3; the rest of the stats are copied from Garunoff's base stats +3.
The second minion gains 7 dice when attacking or defending.
The third minion gains 10 Wisdom.
The fourth minion can use Cover at no action cost.
The fifth minion is capable of using Sacrifice to heal others.
Minion rolls his Current Hearts and dies. Garunoff recovers Hearts and Magic equal to the result of that roll.
The remaining minions recover Hearts equal to the half of the result of that roll.
If there are any more than 5 Minions, all of the extra minions gain the ability to use Sacrifice. Additionally, until the minion count drops to 5 or less, Garunoff becomes impervious to all forms of damage, draining, or siphoning abilities.
- Requires Fire (Level: 3)
- Summon a stone statue shaped like a Dragon's head, and have it join using $init j.
- Roll your Power stat +5 to determine its Courage stat.
- Roll your Maximum Hearts stat +5 to determine its Hearts stat.
- The statue itself uses your Fire affinity and has stone armor, reducing physical damage taken by 5.
The statue is able to use Fireball and Flamethrower.
Fireball:
The statue fires a quick-moving ball of Fire at a target.
Roll your Courage +6 dice vs. targets' Courage dice / Deals Fire Effect Damage
Flamethrower:
The statue breathes a wave of Fire at all enemies.
Roll your Courage +2 dice vs. targets' Courage dice / Damage is halved
If the attack is successful, target(s) hit take burn damage (neutral) equal to his armor's damage reduction.
- Requires Light (Level: 3)
- Summon a stone statue shaped like a Moblin, and have it join using $init j.
- Roll your Power stat +10 to determine its Wisdom stat.
- Roll your Maximum Hearts stat to determine its Hearts stat.
- The statue itself uses your Light affinity and has stone armor, reducing physical damage taken by 5.
The statue is able to use Laser and Mass Blind.
Laser:
The statue points its spear at a target, which fire a laser of Light at the target, ignoring damage reduction.
Roll your Wisdom +4 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
Mass Blind:
The statue opens its mouth, which sends a bright flash of Light at all enemies.
Roll your Wisdom dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice / Deals no damage
If the attack is successful, target(s) get the Blinded Affliction:
When the target uses any action that targets, target first rolls $1d3.
If the result is a 3, the action automatically misses.
Blinded lasts until the end of your turn one round later.
- Requires Shadow (Level: 3)
- Summon a stone statue shaped like a Gargoyle, and have it join using $init j.
- Roll your Power stat +3 to determine its Power stat.
- Roll your Maximum Hearts +7 stat to determine its Hearts stat.
- The statue itself uses your Light affinity and has stone armor, reducing physical damage taken by 5.
The statue can use Fear and Shadow Veil.
Fear:
The statue turns towards a target and opens its eyes.
Roll your Power +4 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice / Deals no damage
If the attack is successful, target gets the Feared Affliction:
Target is unable to attack in any way.
This is cancelled if the Gargoyle Statue that used it on the target is destroyed.
Feared lasts until the end of your turn two rounds later.
Shadow Veil:
The statue summons a veil of darkness, which covers itself and its allies.
Everyone inside the veil loses 2 dice when attacking anyone outside of the veil.
However, anyone outside that attacks someone in the veil loses 3 dice when attacking and 2 damage.
Shadow Veil can stack up to three times.
When a Gargoyle Statue dies, one of the stacks is lost. If all the Gargoyle Statues die, all of the stacks disappear.
Shadow Veil lasts for the remainder of the battle.
- Requires Shadow (Level: 2) and Fire (Level: 2)
- Summon a fiery hound that breathes death from its whole body, and have it join using $init j.
- Roll your Power stat +8 to determine its Courage stat.
- Roll your Power stat +2 to determine its Power stat.
- The hound itself uses your Fire and Shadow affinities, and if it's hit once, it dies.
The hound has Death Growth and can use Burning Claws.
Death Growth:
Every time someone or something else dies, the hound grows in size and strength.
Hound gains 4 dice when attacking or defending.
If the hound reaches 2 stacks, it's able to substitute its defending roll with Courage.
It can only do this once per round.
If the hound reaches 4 stacks, its attacks hit all enemies.
This stacks infinitely.
Burning Claws:
Requires Fire (Level: 3)
The hound leaps at a target with its claws, slashing at the target.
Roll your Courage +5 dice vs. targets' Courage dice
If the attack is successful, target loses Magic equal to half of the difference in successes.
- Requires Shadow (Level: 2) and Light (Level: 2)
- Summon a floating mask with a yin and yang design, and have it join using $init j.
- Roll your Power stat +10 to determine its Wisdom stat.
- Roll your Power stat to determine its Courage stat.
- The mask itself uses your Shadow and Light affinities, and if it's hit once, it dies.
The mask has Spell Cover and can use Disorient.
Spell Cover:
Anytime a spell is fired at one of the mask's allies, it can fly in to block it.
The mask rolls its Courage stat -3 to defend the spell.
If the mask is successful in defending, it casts the spell itself and rebounds it at the original caster.
If the mask is unsuccessful in defending, the spell breaks through the mask, killing it, and it continues to its original target.
Disorient:
Requires Shadow (Level: 3)
The mask fires flares of shadows at a target.
Roll your Wisdom +3 dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice / Deals no damage
If the attack is successful, the flares confuse the target and give him the Disoriented Affliction:
When target uses any action that targets, he first rolls $1d#, where # = the targets in the turn order.
The target then uses the action on the respective target.
Disoriented lasts until the end of your turn two rounds later.
- Requires Light (Level: 2) and Fire (Level: 2)
- Summon a bright, floating bomb of fire, and have it join using $init j.
- Roll your Power stat +10 to determine its Power stat.
- Roll your Power stat to determine its Wisdom stat.
- The bomb itself uses your Fire and Light affinities, and if it's hit once, it dies.
The bomb has Blazing Spirit and can use Explode.
Blazing Spirit:
The bomb is a corporeal entity that emits a flaming aura.
The bomb is immune to physical attacks.
At the start of each round, the bomb grows and its flames pulse outwards, automatically hitting all enemies with # burn damage (neutral), where # = the number of rounds that is has lived for.
It increases its successes when attacking by the same amount.
It also decreases its successes when defending by the same amount.
Explode:
When the bomb explodes, it first implodes briefly before exploding in a large shockwave. The bomb is first lobbed into the enemy team. "Hits" all enemies.
Roll your Power +5 dice vs. targets' Courage dice / Deals no damage
If all of the attacks are successful, the bomb explodes in the middle of the enemy team, hitting all of them.
If one of the attacks is unsuccessful, the bomb is kicked back partially, hitting everyone.
If all of the attacks are unsuccessful, the bomb is lobbed back all the way, hitting all of its allies.
The explosion itself counts as both Fire Effect Damage and Light Effect Damage.
Roll your Power +4 dice vs. targets' Power dice / Damage increased by $#d(# + 1)
# = the number of rounds that have passed since being summoned
- Garunoff laughs with a simple "Hmph!, and from his hand, he fires a laser at a target.
- Roll your Power dice vs. targets' Wisdom dice
- If the attack is successful, target gets the Oppressed Affliction.
- Target's Power, Courage, Wisdom, Hearts, and Magic stats are reduced by 3.
- All of target's Magic Costs are increased by 1.
Oppressed lasts until the end of your turn two rounds later.
- Requires Shadow (Level: 3)
- Costs 5 Magic
- Select a summon, and roll your Maximum Magic.
- Target's Hearts stats are replaced by the result of your roll, partially phasing the target out of existence.
- If its Current Hearts are lower than the new stat, then its Current Hearts don't change. However, if its Current Hearts are higher than its new stat, then its Current Hearts are reduced to match its new stat.
Target becomes immune to physical damage.
It loses all forms of damage reduction, but all of its attacks ignore damage reduction as well.
These effects last for the remainder of the battle, or until the original summoner dies.
- Requires Fire (Level: 2)
- Costs 4 Magic
- Select a summon, and give it the Hanging On Buff:
- When target would normally die, it's reduced to 1 Heart.
- If the target normally takes one hit to die, it now takes two hits to die.
Items:
- Amount: 1
- Got a problem? Try flipping this coin! But first, you'll need to roll a 10-sided dice. The results are as follows:
- If it's a 1, something very unfortunate and inconvenient happens. You find yourself unable to flip the coin, as the coin finds a way to go missing and cause problems.
- If it's a 2 through 4, flip the coin.
- If it's heads, something unfortunate will happen to everyone.
- If it's tails, only you are screwed.
If it's a 5, the coin warps itself out of existence before you're able to flip it. Try again next time!
If it's a 6 or 7, flip the coin.
If it's heads, something good will happen to everyone.
If it's tails, you get something good.
If it's an 8 or 9, you get another Ten Sided Coin. Also, flip the current coin.
If it's heads, one of your current problems will be solved.
If it's tails, one of your current problems will be turned into a rather convenient solution.
If it's a 10, the numbers lied. The result is worse than a 1, but you get to flip the coin. What happens thereafter is a mystery.
After the coin is flipped, it remains permanently stuck to whatever surface it lands on, and it can no longer be flipped.
[box=Ten Sided Coin][list]
[*][Amount]1[/Amount]
[*]Got a problem? Try flipping this coin! But first, you'll need to roll a 10-sided dice. The results are as follows:[list]
[*]If it's a 1, something very unfortunate and inconvenient happens. You find yourself unable to flip the coin, as the coin finds a way to go missing and cause problems.
[*]If it's a 2 through 4, flip the coin.[list]
[*]If it's heads, something unfortunate will happen to everyone.
[*]If it's tails, only you are screwed.[/list]
[*]If it's a 5, the coin warps itself out of existence before you're able to flip it. Try again next time!
[*]If it's a 6 or 7, flip the coin.[list]
[*]If it's heads, something good will happen to everyone.
[*]If it's tails, you get something good.[/list]
[*]If it's an 8 or 9, you get another [b]Ten Sided Coin[/b]. Also, flip the current coin.[list]
[*]If it's heads, one of your current problems will be solved.
[*]If it's tails, one of your current problems will be turned into a rather convenient solution.[/list]
[*]If it's a 10, the numbers lied. The result is worse than a 1, but you get to flip the coin. What happens thereafter is a mystery.[/list]
[*]After the coin is flipped, it remains permanently stuck to whatever surface it lands on, and it can no longer be flipped.[/list][/box]
- Amount: 1
- It's a bottle... with darkness inside. ...
- How you got the darkness will forever remain a legend of things that should not have been possible.
[box=Bottle of Darkness][list]
[*][Amount]1[/Amount]
[*]It's a bottle... with darkness inside. ...[list]
[*]How you got the darkness will forever remain a legend of things that should not have been possible.[/list][/list][/box]
RE: 1-27-14: Sheikah Trials - Lightwulf - 01-29-2014
I gotta' say, that stuff is hilarious! 
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